


The Breaking

by gayruto



Category: Naruto
Genre: Break Up, Drama, Emotional Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8228914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayruto/pseuds/gayruto
Summary: When he doubted your love for him--which has been more than once--you wanted to spit in his face for even entertaining the thought that he wouldn't be your whole world. 
Now, you reconsider.





	

The thought is chilling. It’s as if you were contemplating murder. Or planning to kill yourself. In doing this you’ll kill him too, and that might be the worst part. You mumble the words while staring at your reflection; each time you do this, you cry harder. You run your hands through your greasy blond hair. Taking care of yourself has been hard. You were never the cleanest person, but even now you’re a bit disgusted with yourself. But maybe you feel dirty for other reasons too. Maybe this, just under the surface, feels wrong. Like the worst of sins. Actually, no—it’s not a “maybe” anymore.

You know you don’t want to do this. You don’t want to _have_ to do this but that doesn’t change reality in the slightest. You’ve been prolonging the inevitable for far too long.

Being with Sasuke has felt more like trying to breathe under water than anything else. You’ve searched time and time again for a reason to stay, each time fooling yourself into thinking the parts of him you thought you loved were enough. _He understands you more than anyone else_.

But does that erase his bad habits?

_He loves you more than anyone else has_.

But does that mean you don’t resent him deep down? For his anger, for his pride? For the way he knows what’s best for you, but really he doesn’t, really he just wants his way and nothing else?

It burns. It burns like dark liquor down your throat. You want to vomit.

It takes all the strength you didn’t think you had to not scream, but even that only lasts for about thirty seconds. Then it rips through your throat like every bad thought you’ve been suppressing. You can’t see anything through the tears. You feel like the embodiment of a puncture wound.

Like tearing yourself in half.

But that’s wrong, isn’t it? You’re a whole person. You’re enough for yourself. You’re enough _by_ yourself. You don’t need him.

Even if you feel like you’re lying to yourself when you say that. Even if, as the words are formed in your head, you remember how you felt in his arms last night.

He read a book by the window in bed, and you put your head on his chest as a desperate plea for affection. He didn’t look at you, or even flinch. He just put his hand on your cheek, thumb rubbing softly at your scars.

This hurts more than anything. More than anything. More than _anything_.

You splash cold water on your face, disguising the tears to no one.

You need a different kind of strength for this. No one can save you but yourself. Not God, not your mom or dad, and definitely not him.

For the first time since meeting him as a child, you need to learn how to be alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> So. I'm going through a very very difficult time right now (aren't I always). You can probably guess. I truly, honestly, would never want this to happen to Naruto and Sasuke and honestly I don't think this is them. Actually, I know this isn't them. I'm disguising my own feelings by using different names.
> 
> I had to write it, though. The pain in my chest was too big not to find as many outlets as I possibly could.
> 
> I'm sorry that I write so sporadically and after a long absence I only give you grief. Still, I hope you enjoy, leave me your thoughts <3


End file.
